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Hi there if you haven’t guessed from the title of this post, weren’t already in the know or follow me on social media then surprise I’m pregnant! I have now reached the second trimester and thought it would be a nice way to document this pregnancy!
I found out at 4 and a half weeks pregnant. We’d been trying for 2 years and in those 2 years suffered 2 miscarriages – so I’d become a ‘bit’ of a mad woman taking tests every bloody month convincing myself my boobs were extra sore that month – when I found out I didn’t feel any different other than a little more tired than usual – but I’m never one to turn down a nap if I can get away with one – so nothing seemed that odd! It was my friends hen do that weekend, so I was testing nearly every day that week to see if I was pregnant – I didn’t want to be doing all the hen do drinking game naughtiness to come home and find out actually i’m with child! It wasn’t until Thursday I saw a very faint positive. ‘What the f*ck’ left my mouth more times than I care to admit after many months of holding the test up to different lights, squinting until the point of a headache and then finally admitting defeat that it is indeed a negative single line on its own, it was bloody hard to believe I was finally seeing 2 lines!
After a weekend of drinking shloer out of a wine glass (master mind and all that) I called the drs first thing Monday to make my midwife appointment, and an early scan (after my 2nd miscarriage the lovely team at the early pregnancy centre said I could have a reassurance scan when I next got pregnant.)
This is when I started to feel absolutely wiped out – I have a 6 year old and could not remember feeling this exhausted when I was pregnant with him, I said this to my husband and he so kindly added ‘well you’re not as young as you used to be.’ Thanks love!
I had my booking in appointment with my midwife, and my first scan – baby looked like absolutely nothing, well if you actually look it’s a bit like a diamond ring but nothing like a baby, but to see the flicker of its heartbeat was indescribable. My anxiety was through the roof, I’d been convincing myself everything was going wrong and I’d be leaving the hospital feeling empty! Instead I left with my little pot of wee for the drs (lucky them) and feeling like the happiest and luckiest girl in the world!
The morning sickness is real guys, and it’s not in the bloody morning! Thankfully the real sick hasn’t been that bad, the nausea has however been on another level. If I’m hot I’m nauseous, if I’m hungry I’m nauseous, in a car nauseous, craving turkey dinosaurs for two days then take one bite – nauseous. I think you get the idea! But it kept my mind at bay – if I’m feeling these things then everything is working just how it should be.
I have to admit I’ve become a little panicky since I lost our last baby at 6 weeks, TMI but when I go to the toilet and wipe I’m forever checking for spotting or any signs something might not be right, and I breathe a sigh of relief when there is no red to be seen. On week 8, we’d had a good evening, chilled in front of the tv I’d gone up to the toilet before bed, wiped and saw the tiniest spot of blood and completely freaked out. Another scan later told us that baby had doubled in size and their heart is still wonderfully strong. (I need to point out that spotting like that can be completely normal, and I spotted all the way through having J and he is bloomin’ brilliant!) (I also have ovarian cysts which is believed to be the cause of said small dot of blood!)
You could say hi to me and I will cry in your face! The hormones have well and truly hit me, that, the tiredness and the nausea combined will show me crying on the sofa because I’d forgotten to buy garlic bread to have with dinner. I think this is a fair statement to sum up the entire first trimester!
Week 10 + 11
Symptoms still in full swing, and we are ready to tell our close friends (family found out at 6 weeks!) it’s our summer party – and probably the hottest day the UK have had in my whole entire life. Apart from feeling like I’m going to pass out and the alternate sipping from my water and non alcoholic cider to still feel like part of the party but also keep hydrated – we had a great day and was so lovely to tell our big secret.
Also after telling J to keep it a secret for a little longer, we’d found out he’d struggled to keep the news to himself – Conversation went like this in the car after school –
J – ‘Lola asked if I’m having a brother or a sister’
Me- ‘why would she ask that?’
J – I have no idea – why would she ask me that?’
Me – ‘did you tell her about baby?’
J – ‘definitely not!’
Me – ‘are you sure?’
J – ‘well, I did say you were growing a baby’
Me – ‘okkkkk that would be why’
J – ‘I told Nathan too!’
Moral of the story 6 year olds can’t keep secrets and he had not just told 2 people, he had told 9 plus his teaching assistant! But who could blame him, he can’t wait to be a big brother and just wanted the whole world and their dog to know!
The secrets out! The sickness is starting to pass, the craving for birthday cake is still very much alive and if I had it my way I would destroy a Colin the caterpillar daily, and the tiredness still feels like I’ve run a marathon each day (I obviously have no idea what the feels like not being the natural athlete, but I imagine it’s the same!) I am just so happy to be pregnant again, my bump is starting to make its appearance and yes the thought of having two children is bloody terrifying but oh my god I could not be more excited for what’s to come! Here’s to sore boobs, needing a wee at all hrs of the night and hopefully a few birthday cakes! Second trimester let’s do this!